When they say Boris is "in good spirits," do they actually mean they're keeping him in a bath of fine whisky?

If, as some have suggested, the current epidemic is a punishment for our sins, the obvious conclusion is that all the religions are wrong.

Ugh, I'm out of coffee, and the beans I ordered only shipped today. Guess I'll have to survive on whatever horror I can find in Sainsbury's. These are truly grim times.

What is the point in governments always insisting that the PM/president/king is "fine" when he obviously is not?

Grocery delivery slots are the new rock concert tickets. Soon they'll be available only through Slotmaster and eBay scalpers.

I'd like to see daily figures for hospital admissions with respiratory problems, how many were tested for covid-19, and how many of those tests were positive.

Social distancing tip: if you can smell a woman's perfume, you're too close.

"I’m shaking hands continuously. I was at a hospital the other night where I think there were actually a few coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody, you’ll be pleased to know. I continue to shake hands." — Boris Johnson

He had it coming.

The Sainsbury's Local around the corner is fully stocked with toilet paper. Does that mean we can end the lockdown now?

Social distancing tip: imagine everyone you see is smoking and act accordingly.

Going crazy from the lockdown? That's how your indoor cat feels all the time.

Are there any credible models of the effects of an extended lockdown in terms of mass unemployment, hyperinflation, poverty, homelessness, alcohol/drug abuse, mental health issues, and deaths (suicide and other causes)? At what point does the cure become worse than the disease?

Wouldn't it be funny if it turned out that Boris Johnson caught the corona virus from Prince Charles?

How would we react if 1% of the population were suddenly killed in a way we couldn't even pretend to be doing anything to prevent?

ST: Picard E10 

Mans R boosted

Found elsewhere:
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

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Society of Trolls

A nice little Mastodon instance. Mild trolling encouraged (keep it local), but not required. Malicious behaviour is not tolerated. Follow Wheaton's law and you'll be fine.